Since that time many things
have happened.
Expanding my website into
the Personal Universe pages, I
included a "My Family Search" page in 1996 and appealed for any
information that might help find my mom and dad and my sister from my past...
Because of this
page, in 2004, I discovered I have a half brother, who found
my sister, Wendy, and my dear old
Father whom I had no contact with since I was about 5 years old. My
father was in his eighties and I figured he was going to last a
lot longer. So I decided I could too. The significance of the
dates 1947 to 2022 faded in importance as I found my old father living
past 82 years of age.
Sadly, after Dianne and I travelled
down to Adelaide to meet him and my sister, on my return he wrote to me saying he wanted
his life to remain as
it was. After a 30 year relationship with his partner now deceased, and a lifetime of believing that I had died of pneumonia as a
child, me turning up so late in his life was too much for him -
according to an "anonymous letter" which I assumed was from him and for
which I had to sign for at the post office, asking me to leave him
be.... So I have
left him in peace as I believed I would meet him again "in the
afterlife" where all would be revealed anyway.
My half brother, Robert, had found my father
after 50 years of me having no clue as to his existence or whereabouts.
He was searching for his birth parents and found
me. For me: since 1966. For him... well
he never knew he was adopted till his adoptive parents died, and for
him, his mother missing, has weighed heavily on him since realising he
had lived his life as an adopted child.
But our mother is still missing
for the three of us. Wendy has a family and didn't open up to me very
much after I had visited her in Adelaide, so I don't know a lot about her and how she feels about Gwendolyn
or David.... except she likes so much privacy it feels like a crime to
even mention her name. But I missed her all my life and thought meeting
her would complete my life. But that was not to be. She also thought
I had died as a child too. So I was really like some kind of impostor in
their lives. But even taking the few photos I did under so much protest
from both of them, at least gave me a
small collection of picture memories that I cherish very much.
After 1996, many economic
changes occurred with the CD industry in Australia. The change in import
"restrictions"
destroyed the value of music CDs in Australia as a flood of music and a
healthy CD piracy industry followed. Then the Internet evolved into a
vital part of our lives and so another blow to my dreams washed the
music CD project almost out to sea.
The Internet nearly
destroyed the CD as the means of "selling" music by creating a monopoly
on music sales channeled from online download companies. It seems, very
conveniently, in the process, it has dropped probably most music from
the ages into an oblivion so far as the paying consumer was concerned.
Shifting HTML over to HTML
5, to encourage Mobile Phone and tablet use, I have no doubt was intended for the
music download market, and in the process ruined the traditional means for Independent Music
makers and home grown webpage designers from making their creations
easily accessible to the world. HTML 4 was simple and html editors such
as Microsoft FrontPage made easily created web pages. But the training
in HTML 5 is nothing short of a nightmare with personal web pages being
forgotten and abandoned as the Internet was being turned into a Commercial place,
which will eventually drown out non commercial sites altogether.
The appearance of
mobile devices not only gave a monopoly for music download companies
internationally who made moves to appear to be protecting artists from
the free distribution of music through peer to peer sharing. In fact,
it stole away the means of getting Independent Music distributed in a way
that provided an income. CD sales
died while the download monopolies made a fortune and unknown artists
were submerged under the noise.
Over a period of 20 years, the accepted
norm is now to pay for music for a very narrow channel of supply, as
music and CD shops are pretty much all gone now. Though there was always a great willingness for musicians and composers
to share their creations without considerations of money, the "downloaders"
have made it the only option. So YouTube is now the place for so much
free music you can drown easily. And so making money from composer music
is now virtually impossible unless it is commercial crap or showmanship.
To me music was what I heard and felt. Not what I saw. Music creates
inner visualization, whereas most modern "music" is "look at me" stuff
for young hormone driven "hopefuls" AND "successfuls", depending on clever video
presentations. Entertaining, and even brilliant, but as it's not really just the music,
I am forced to become a video producer as well now.
HTML 4 is still useable but
HTML 5 is definitely more suited to mobile devices. The main outcome is
that the rug has been pulled out from under the traditional music world
by seducing the newer generations with the devices that satisfy their
feeling of owning music in their hands... which they don't really. The available choice of music genera
is centered around a modern style of music that has removed any
appreciation for music outside that limited selection of genera
available for download, and has been made purchasable each time you hear
it.
Yes. You-Tube arrived and
though it is my favourite Internet go to for information, entertainment,
news and music of all kinds, it is all given away free of charge. To get your music out there now you have to
become a video maker and editor as well and there is no guarantee of any
kind of money appearing any way. Never the less I have to admit
the Internet is a superhighway of mind food, the likes of
which was unimaginable before 1990, and I sure do use it a lot.
Now that Covid 19 virus has come
onto the world scene, it remains to be seen how much YouTube will save
the sanity of millions who have access to the Internet - though without
it, it seems that music and all that the world has had to offer over the
last 100 years would be in the balance.
Covid 19 had me thinking
though. As I wrote this I was in home isolation. So frankly, I thought I
would like to be around to see "the wonders of the new world" post
Covid 19, assuming that enough of us learn and balance our Karmic
lessons. I know I sure do have a heck of a lot more work to do yet.
I wondered if 24th April 2020
would pass without incident. It did - though I thought I experienced
covid and got through it with Dianne's help and a long time, not feeling
so good, in bed.
In my solo auditing during
1989, using a technique much like visualizing or exercising extended
sight, I "intuited" that
my daughter
Claire was destined to
have a stroke. It was a very confronting experience.
Years later, in 1997,
when I was trying to contact Claire, I discovered that she DID have
a major collapse with pneumonia while being forced to work long hours as
a child in
the Sea Organisation and while sick and denied medical attention at
around 15 to 18 years old she had a major NDE in the hospital. She had
several strokes and lost the ability to speak, read, walk and suffered
very badly. Somehow she survived. A complete description of her
experience and the consequences, has not been attempted as she and her
partner are to be considered. But a summary and an approach to the task
is on the page called
Claire Pages. |
|
And I saw Dianne who I had
just met then in 1989, being associated with Mental Health for years in the
future. This was the LAST thing I thought could happen around me as an Independent Scientologist
at the time of this "premonition".
It was eleven years later
that it happened. The task of bringing Dianne
through numerous disastrous events due to Psychiatry and Centrelink over
the years from 2021 all but
reduced the music project which she inspired, into a hobby - so that I had no "space" to develop
it into a level of success.
Of course I couldn't abandon her. She
was and still is
the love of my life, so I "had to be seen" as her Carer to
cope with the unspeakable treatment by Centrelink.
After all, it was Dianne that started me on the music path with her
generous gift of the SY99 in the first place - a composers musical instrument far beyond
what I would have ever expected to afford or be gifted by anyone. She
sure cared enough about me to do this while she was able to.. The money
for that came from a legal settlement as a result of a severe motorbike
accident where she was thrown across the rain soaked road in Victoria
Street in Sydney. She took over 10 months and 16 doctors later to return
home to live with her parents. |
From the beginning the
music production exploded like a
supernova. The
thing is that the music was composed from the heart directly onto the
keyboard, track by track. Being able to record it as it was directly created
on the SY99, I was
able to capture the emotion and the love I was experiencing for Dianne.
She was my muse and so many themes simply expressed how I felt; the
experience of the music source in the Theta Universe. There were times
she had run away and I had to keep my tone up; to remain in the
"exterior state", immersed in the Spiritual Space that is the
music source.
The music materialized and recorded (saved in real time) helped to do that.
Surviving on the pension,
I had to keep a car on
the road to drive hundreds of kilometers to find her and manage to bring
her home from Queensland or the ACT. She seemed to live in fear all the
time and this happened only after psychiatry had connected to her. Sometimes
I had to live in a caravan park or sleep in the car for long periods to manage the process
of finding her and mending the affinity breaks she kept experiencing
that separated us.
It is now
2022. She is living free of psych
medications by her choice, with my constant and dedicated care,
though we have "officially" had to live apart for years, thanks to Centrelink
that would reduce our pensions by around $200 each a fortnight if we
"officially" lived together.
The withdrawals from the medication has been pretty hideous and
stressful, with family members wanting to return her to the drugs rather
than helping her recover the real and natural life she desired. Covid
added another complication and this is something that worries me
still, as at the time of these "sessions" back in around 1991, I "saw" the influence of what
I could only interpret as "the plague" having its effect on our lives in
the distant future.... which curiously enough is now.
With these words I hope the
last of my "visions" do not
come to pass at all. But that story will have to be on the "wait and
see" list. I am talking about Dianne's future. Unfortunately I
never made anything like the expected income from the music project and
now I fear that when I leave her alone in the world, the vultures will
descend on her. I thought a decent inheritance might give her an
advantage but I have not been able to dissuade fate. So I invest in
lottery tickets and focus on the stock market for possible success.
And so I pray that God will help her through the
remaining years she has to live without me by her side in the flesh. I
have done my best. Hopefully the music
composed as part of those years of devotion and coping, will comfort her if or when I am no
longer around.
Finally I recall telling
a friend back before 1989 that the earth had 5 thousand years left.
Things would come to an end at that time I had thought.
__________________________________
So .....
